So my beloved, the invitation has always been to just let it be for the next 45 minutes or so. Not thinking about Sunday lunch or what we have to do in the coming week.

We have chosen to link our hearts and minds by joining on this Sunday Soul Connection conference call to deepen our awareness and our connection and our communion with the Ground of our being God in us as us and so this morning, the theme for our Sunday Soul is how can we unlearn some of our core beliefs.

The quote I sent out in yesterday’s notification by Shakti Gawain says it all : “We heal ourselves on the mental level as we become aware of our core beliefs, release those that limit us, and open to more supportive ideas and greater understanding.”
Every single one of us are both hampered and hindered by our core beliefs that are negative and limiting; these are the beliefs that we have accumulated from since early childhood. From parents from teachers from peers, as we were forming in a young age. These were the beliefs that we accepted and have become so entrenched in us that even when we see or are experiencing something to the contrary of that core belief we find it hard to believe or accept. We doubt that it's true or that it's relevant to us.

These core beliefs lead, guide and direct our lives because we operate and accept them as if they are a truth that is unchanging and unchangeable. Every choice and every decision we make is the result of these patterns of these core beliefs that we have been holding on to and when we see or we can take time to reflect on a particular action or behaviour, we can trace the trajectory all the way back to the belief underneath or behind it.

I shared with you one of my core beliefs is regarding my fear of heights, also driving on high motorway flyovers, suspension bridges Whether it's the Marlebone flyover or going up the narrow ramp at the Chiswick flyover or anything that raises off the ground. As I approach it something unconsciously within me starts to react. My stomach starts to tighten. My hands start to sweat and my nerves start to get frayed.

I laughed to myself this week I drove up to Rugby for a spa break, and ahead on this motorway I was on, I could see it rising in the distance and the cars were going uphill, and that reaction started and I had to challenge myself did I think God when God was creating various galaxies and bringing forth various Life expressions did God ever get nervous? ever questioned, ever doubted? Of course not.

We are expressions of the Divine and we forget our divinity because we're so caught up and bound up in our humanity. We forget how powerful we are. We allow these core beliefs that we've accepted as a truth to direct our life. The stories, the convictions, the judgements that we hold about ourselves to define us.

One of the things I know is that it’s irrelevant how long you've been on the path, how long and how much work you've done in yourself, there's always a core belief that will come up and stop you when you least expect it, because it's really challenging and I don't want to use the word difficult or hard. We'll just leave it is challenging, it’s challenging to change what is held in the subconscious because as we’ve shared before the subconscious operates and it's so much more powerful than our conscious mind.

So when we are trying to change that core belief that we've got really grounded and rooted in our subconscious using our conscious mind, it really sometimes it's a feeble attempt, and we do it once or twice and we think we've managed to change it, when in fact we've barely done anything.

These core beliefs are something that we have to challenge over and over and over again. And there was a Judith Beck back in both 2005 and 2011 wrote various papers and she identified the three main categories of negative core beliefs about the self is firstly, helplessness feeling that we're incompetent, feeling inferior, vulnerable feeling when not good enough, that we're stupid, that we're unworthy that we're undeserving. Every one of us has felt that at some point at some time in our lives.

Sometimes I think it doesn't matter how often people tell us that we are to the contrary that we are beautiful ,or the were attractive. If our core belief in and about ourselves is that we're not, it doesn't matter how many times people tell us, it's something that we don't accept or believe.
It's something that we take as untrue.

The second main core belief, she's says is the fear of being unloveable, that we're not likeable, that we're incapable of intimacy, that we aren't able to find the right partner or someone that loves us in life.

The third category, she says is worthlessness, which leads us to believe that we are insignificant, we’re useless, that we are able to achieve or accomplish, or as clever as somebody else…

As I read these three categories, I personally could identify with each one. As I said, irrespective of how long or how much work you've been doing once these core beliefs have formed within our psyche, within our subconscious eradicating them is challenging.

Often times we try to change it by doing things on the outer. Say, for instance, the core belief is that I'm not beautiful, I'm not attractive, then we think okay, if we lose weight, if we take care of our body, if we exercise, if we change up our routines or do more yoga, trying to change who we are by reading self help books that this will change things. But, as always with everything, it's an inner work, not an outer work that we have to address.

It's an inner work that we have to drill down into in order to make the changes and we can know when we are accessing and expressing from our negative core beliefs because sometimes, beliefs will always start with I am - I am not clever, I am unattractive, I am not worthy, I am — and you can put whatever sentence you wish after that.

So the invitation this morning is to pay attention. Pay attention to when you feel yourself consumed by anger or self pity or you’re acting out self destructive behaviours; and see what is the core belief behind that? That way we can start to delve down and examine and excavate and find out what is that core belief that we're holding on to.

A way we can do this, is with something called Socratic questioning. It says that “Socratic questioning is a very effective cognitive restructuring technique”, which can help you challenge irrational, illogical and harmful thinking errors. I love that, cognitive restructuring simply said it's a way of changing your thinking.

The basic outline for this technique is to ask the following questions:

Is this thought realistic?
Am I basing my thoughts on facts or on feelings?
What is the evidence for this thought?
Could I be misinterpreting the evidence?
Am I viewing the situation as black and white, when it’s really more complicated?
Am I having this thought out of habit, or do facts support it?

1. Identify one core belief at a time
2. Understand how the core belief impacts your life
3.On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you believe it?
4.Explore hidden forms of resistance
5.Find ways to disprove your core belief
6.Find an alternative core belief
7.Explore how your life will change with your new belief
8. If you don’t change your core beliefs, what will be the consequence?
9.Develop a plan of action

Sacred Text

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. COLOSSIANS 3:16

Throw all your anxiety onto him, because he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7

Story

I used to watch people on the streets and in restaurants and think that their boisterous conversations and broad smiles were evidence that they lived a life much better than mine.
I assumed that they were happier than me, smarter than me, and worth more than me. All around me was evidence that this was true: my meager bank account, my junky car, my thrift store clothes.
I was always a dreamer with big ideas and ridiculous plans, but I was unable to make those plans a reality because the story I told myself was that I wasn’t enough. As long as I continued to tell myself that story, I would continue to be not enough.
My story about not being good enough showed itself in every aspect of my life—my job, my family, my social life.
Until I was able to open my eyes and change my story, these aspects of my life were not getting better. You receive what you are telling your subconscious mind you deserve. I was telling my mind that I wasn’t good enough and that’s what I saw all around me.
The first step in changing a limiting belief is identifying it.
Identifying my story about not being good enough was surprisingly difficult for me initially because I told myself that story for so long that I didn’t think of it as a story at all. I thought of it as true and that was, at its heart, quite ridiculous. It took a lot of thought before I even realized that this was the story I was telling myself.
A new story in itself is not always enough. That story needs to be rooted in something. You have to believe it, and changing your beliefs can be the most difficult thing of all. When I decided to change my story about myself, I looked around at my life for evidence that the new story was true.
For example, I knew I had friends and family who loved me and certainly thought I was good enough to receive that love.
When I looked at my life objectively I realized that I’d actually accomplished quite a bit. I’d always done well in school. I’d written quite a large body of work that I enjoyed and liked. I always went out of my way to be kind and helpful to others. These are all things that, in my eyes, made me just as good as anyone else.
As I started to look at my situation more, I realized that one of my core problems was “the anyone else” part of my story. I was comparing myself to others, and that will lead to unhappiness most of the time.
Instead of thinking of myself as just as good as anyone else, I started to change my story again to simply say that I am good.
Supporting your new story with facts will help you believe it, but what really anchors it into your life is associating it with positive emotions.
Sitting around visualizing isn’t enough to make change happen in your life. I’m a strong believer in action. That’s where you really start to see the change happen.
I immediately started challenging myself. I started making a conscious effort to speak up in social situations and to express my opinion. I started asserted my needs more. I was able to see things for a more positive perspective.
I’m not saying that I am always successful. I most certainly am not. Sometimes I fall back into old habits, but I remember that simply making the effort gets me a step closer to my ideal than I was before.
The physical circumstances around you won’t change overnight. You won’t change your story to being abundant and then suddenly have millions of dollars in your bank account the next morning. What will happen, though, is that you will recognize the opportunities that will get you there.
Don’t be angry with yourself or the universe if it doesn’t happen fast enough for you, or if you fail to make the changes you want all once. Taking small steps in the right direction every day will get you were you need to be. It’s important to be consistent.

Lovelyn Bettison

Poem: Core Value By Joseph Gregory Spencer

Core beliefs support the platform,
upon which life is staged
Our act tumbles out of balance,
when these are not engaged

Life's projects all demand critique,
oft there's no turning back
All life's efforts called into doubt,
when conviction they lack

Rational thought sets us apart,
from the other creatures
Reason affords us selections,
with competing features

We choose wisely when we employ,
deeply held conviction
A life rewarding will be found,
heeding this prescription

A host of others, we ourselves
are effectively lead,
by deep beliefs made manifest
One's words alone are dead

BODY MEDITATION

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SUNDAY SOUL CONNECTION PRAYER

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MOVEMENT PRAYER 4

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BUDDHIST REFLECTION

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RUMINATION

Truth lifts the heart, like water refreshes thirst.
Rumi

Benediction

Mother Father God When the noise and haste surround us
and threaten to take us hostage,
May Your gentle voice soothe and guide us to a place of quiet strength.
When the days seem cold and dark, and the nights unbelievably long,
May Your smile illumine and warm us from within.
May we truly go forth in joy and be led back in peace;

Unlearning some of our Core beliefs