“Today is my day to surrender anything that stands Between the sacredness of my humanity and my divinity.
May I be drenched in my Holiness And engulfed by Your love. May all else melt away. And so it is.”
What comes to mind is the recognition and remembrance that Holiness is within me; and to surrender any and everything that separates my awareness of this unchanging truth!
STORY
I was in my fourth drug treatment center, and it was day ten of a twenty-eight-day program. For over fifteen years I had suffered drug addiction and the underlying insecurities and self-loathing that had birthed it. I had been in and out of treatment centers and could never seem to make it all the way through the program.
At around the ten-day mark I would begin to feel strong, willful, and hopeful, and convinced that I “had it.” I don’t know what I thought I had, but the ache that had led me into the treatment center would usually fade away by this point, replaced by a desperate need to escape. But on this particular day, I was keenly aware of where my “prison break” would take me. It was no mystery, because it had happened so many times before. I would finagle my way out of the treatment center, claiming I was healed and had found enlightenment and freedom from my addictions. And then, either hours or days later, I would be back in the same vicious cycle of filling my small body with drugs, chasing a feel-good moment, and sinking back down into the depths of hell and hopelessness. This particular morning, by the grace of God, I was finally able to see where the path of running away would lead me. And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I couldn’t do it one more time. I knew that if I ran away, I would either find myself back in the same place or, worse, not survive.
So I excused myself from my group therapy session (joyfully so) and proceeded down the dark, dingy corridor that led to the bathroom. I have to tell you, the bathroom of this treatment center was a disgusting place. It smelled like dried urine. The stench was almost more than I could bear. The tiled floor and the grout between the tiles, which probably had started out gray, were now black with mold. I am a bit of a clean freak, and my top priority is beauty. I need it. I crave it. This bathroom was neither clean nor beautiful. But I was so filled with toxic emotions and so desperate for help, I decided to do the unthinkable: I got down on the floor on my hands and knees in a prayer position and began to pray. I asked God—or my higher power, as they call it in the twelve-step program—to come to me, to help me, to rescue me from my pain and my self-destruction.
Although I had heard people talk about God in many twelve-step meetings, for me God was nothing more than a concept in my mind. The actual experience or knowing of God did not exist inside me. For a few minutes I listened to the ranting in my head about how stupid this was, how disgusted I was to be here, and how embarrassed I felt begging some power I didn’t even believe in to help me. I felt angry at God, at my parents, and at all those who had hurt me, believing that if it wasn’t for all of them I wouldn’t be here, stooping to an all-time low. I tried to convince myself that I could get up and leave, but my fear that I would die if I ran away now urged me to stay.
The truth was that the drugs had stopped working long ago. And although I could barely endure the thought of having to live without them, I knew I wouldn’t live much longer with them. I did Percodans, cocaine, mostly a mix of downers and uppers to keep me awake,” “I was a mess. I was taking probably 100 pills a day.”
I recited the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I focused intently on each phrase because I ached for some serenity. More than anything in the world, I wanted a few minutes of peace inside my noisy mind. I whispered the words, just loud enough so I could hear them, over and over and over again: “God, give me the courage to change.” I wanted to change. I needed to change so badly. I began begging and crying hysterically. With my head in my hands, I sobbed uncontrollably until I suddenly realized that something inside me had shifted. A calm had come over me—a silence that was palpable. In asking God, this higher power, to enter my awareness, something inside me had opened up and relaxed.
I began to heal and transform my inner world and form a deep, loving relationship with the power that I now know as God. Every day for the next eighteen days, I made the choice to find my way back into that bathroom, which became my holy sanctuary—a place where I could reconnect with the all-loving presence that had delivered me to a higher aspect of myself. Through this daily ritual I found the strength to finally make it through all twenty-eight days of treatment. On a warm summer day nearly twenty-four years ago, I walked out of my last treatment center, knowing that I had tapped into a power and a source that could move mountains, change people’s lives, and lead me to a future that I couldn’t even fathom yet. I knew in every cell of my being that I needed to further explore, understand, and devote myself to finding and knowing God. Hallelujah!
As we understand Debbie’s story, we can see how she came to write such a wonder prayer! That having gone through all that she had, she came to the realisation that her Holiness was within in! That God was in her - that she wasn’t seeking anything outside of herself, but seeking to remove anything from within herself that blocked her from remembrance of this unchanging truth!
She knew that her Divinity and Humanity were so entwined that what was needed was to be so drenched in her holiness that everything else dissolved, everything that contradicted that truth, that reality.
Debbie came to the believe that one had to :”To live in the light of a new day and an unimaginable and unpredictable future, you must become fully present to a deeper truth - not a truth from you head but a truth from your heart; not a truth from your ego but a truth from the highest source. You have to be willing to be deeply honest with yourself about the shape your life is in each day.”
I believe in order to assess where we are each day, we need to observe ourselves as though we were watching someone else; observe the way we speak to friends and family, the way we react when plans change, the way we hold ourself when walking or sitting, or even just the way in which we get dressed each morning… it all tells the story of who and how we are in this moment. We get to self correct as we go along and check in on ourselves on a daily basis. We need to be aware of what we’re holding upper most in our consciousness. Too often we’re not cognisant of what we’re thinking or believing and yet we’re surprised with what shows up as our experience. We know that Life is always reflecting back as our experience that which we’re giving our attention and focus to.
The spiritual journey is not for the faint hearted, as we’re required to let go and give up the ways, patterns and beliefs that’s not congruent in who we’re meant to be. That’s why Jesus told the young man that wanted to follow him that he must give up all his possessions if he would follow him. The young man couldn’t give up his patterns, behaviours and possession to follow the Christ. We too, have to wrestle with giving up all that no longer serves up, be it ideas, believes or even people. As Debbie says let it all melt away.
SACRED TEXT
My son, give me your heart, And let your eyes observe my ways.
Proverbs 23:26
For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:16
“And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” Says the Lord Almighty.
2 Corinthians 6:18
Each of the sacred Texts speak to our holiness as sons and daughters of the most High God. To know as Jesus knew that “I and my Father are one.” To walk in this unwavering truth of our sacred birthright. As we understand these texts we can allow ourselves to be drenched in our holiness.
POEM
OUT OF THE ORDINARY - JOYCE RUPP - page 181
Our Science Mind Reading
Body Meditation Link
Please click here to be taken to my Prayers and Meditations’ page.
Prayer
As always you’re invited to include anything or anyone that’s in need of prayer at this time.
We know that God is the energy, the Spirit, the Life Force that is everywhere present at every point in space and time.
There is nowhere God is not, and so as we come consciously into your Presence Divine Mother Father God, we are taking a moment to remember who we are and whose we are and in doing so be drenched in our holiness.
Surrendering anything that separates both out sacredness and our humanity, that we can eliminate that division, that belief that we are separate from you or that somehow we are not enough; that makes us feel that we’re not worthy.
As we are drenched in our holiness remembering that we are one with God and all that God is; that we are one with the Infinite Intelligence that permeates in and through all of life and all of creation.
That we are made in the image of Divine health, wholeness and right and perfect expression.
Mother Father God may we remember daily to consciously reflect on where we are on our journey. So that we may daily come back into the remembrance that we are of God!
That we are your children, that we have the same attributes that Jesus had, and come back to the remembrance that we are one with you and all that you are.
Divine Beloved, Mother Father God as we journey through this life whatever we face, whatever is before us let us remember that we are truly drenched in holiness that we truly have the Divine Spark within that heals, that renews, that restores, that replenishes that is all in all.
Mother Father God there’s so much that is happening in our world today, so much so that we do not even have words to give full utterance.
There is so much conflict that is happening, be it in the Ukraine, or Iraq, or the DRC, Syria, Afghanistan, Palestine all across our world there are conflicts and there are those that are using it for material gain and greed forgetting the people, the everyday people who are suffering.
Whilst I may feel overwhelmed and the despair with it all, I know that there is nothing too hard for you to do.
We ask that you soften the hearts of all those involved that are making the decisions that are taking the actions that are inflicting the pain on the people.
We hold in our hearts the people that are suffering, the children that are suffering.
We hold in our hearts those that are experiencing food scarcity and not enough food to eat.
We hold in our hearts those that are seeking shelter and security be it in neighbouring countries or those further afield.
We hold in our hearts all sentient beings - the winged, the hoofed, the finned, the two legged and the four legged.
This world in need of a great drenching of holiness,of love, of acceptance, of its belief on our oneness.
Mother Father God for anything I have failed to ask or remember I know that there is nothing that is beyond your awareness. There is nothing that is outside your control, so we surrender all of this as well as our individual and collective needs we surrender to you all now.
For your Infinite Blessings, Endless Mercies and your Unending Grace we are ever ever grateful!
And so it is Amen.
BODY MEDITATION
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PRAYER OF INTENTION
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MOVEMENT PRAYER
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BUDDHIST REFLECTION
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RUMINATION
"You are more precious than heaven and earth. What more can I say? You do not know your own worth." "You are another version of the divine book.
You are a mirror of the beauty of God that created the universe. Whatever exists in the world, it's not outside of you.
Whatever you ask for, ask for it in yourself, seek it in yourself." Humans as the focus.
Rumi
“You are the treasure of the world, and the world is not worth half barley. You are the basis of the universe, the universe is fresh because of you.”
BENEDICTION
Dear God, Spirit, Divine Mother,
On this day I ask You to grant this request,
May I know who I am and what I am,
Every moment of every day.
May I be a catalyst for light and love,
And bring inspiration to those whose eyes I meet.
May I have the strength to stand tall in the face of conflict,
And the courage to speak my voice, even when I'm scared.
May I have the humility to follow my heart,
And the passion to live my soul's desires.
May I seek to know the highest truth,
And dismiss the gravitational pull of my lower self.
May I embrace and love the totality of myself,
My darkness as well as my light.
May I be brave enough to hear my heart,
To let it soften so that I may gracefully
Choose faith over fear.
Today is my day to surrender anything that stands
Between the sacredness of my humanity and my divinity.
May I be drenched in my Holiness
And engulfed by Your love. May all else melt away.
And so it is. Debbie Ford
Closing Song
Call your Name by WYLD A & Sharyn