Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company. it is not only about being alone. “It’s a deeper internal process,”
Productive solitude requires internal exploration, a kind of labor which can be uncomfortable, even excruciating. “It might take a little bit of work before it turns into a pleasant experience. But once it does it becomes maybe the most important relationship anybody ever has, the relationship you have with yourself.”
Solitude is a time that can be used for reflection, inner searching or growth or enjoyment of some kind. Deep reading requires solitude, so does experiencing the beauty of nature. Thinking and creativity usually do too.
Solitude suggests peacefulness stemming from a state of inner richness. It is a means of enjoying the quiet and whatever it brings that is satisfying and from which we draw sustenance. It is something we cultivate. Solitude is refreshing; an opportunity to renew ourselves. In other words, it replenishes us.
This is not to say that true solitude necessarily requires an absence of stimuli. Rather, “the value of solitude depends on whether an individual can find an interior solitude” within themselves
Everyone is different in that regard: “Some people can go for a walk or listen to music and feel that they are deeply in touch with themselves. Others cannot.”
For solitude to be beneficial, certain preconditions must be met. Kenneth Rubin, a developmental psychologist at the University of Maryland, calls them the “ifs.” Solitude can be productive only: if it is voluntary, if one can regulate one’s emotions “effectively,” if one can join a social group when desired, and if one can maintain positive relationships outside of it. When such conditions aren’t met, yes, solitude can be harmful.
When such conditions aren’t met, yes, solitude can be harmful. Consider the hikikomori phenomenon in Japan, where hundreds of thousands of depressed or troubled young people (39+) quarter themselves away, sometimes for years, often requiring extensive reintegration therapy to move on. The difference between solitude as rejuvenation and solitude as suffering is the quality of self-reflection that one can generate while in it, and the ability to come back to social groups when one wants to.
“There is a difference between loneliness and solitude, one will empty you, and one will fill you. You have the power to choose.” “ ...
“Now, more than ever, we need our solitude. Being alone gives us the power to regulate and adjust our lives.Dr. Ester Buchholz
The best thinking has been done in solitude.” ~ Thomas A. Edison
“Solitude is the place of purification and transformation, the place of the great struggle and the great encounter.” – Henri Nouwen
“Our language has widely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.” ~ Paul Tillich, ‘The Eternal Now’
“Without great solitude no serious work is possible.” ~ Pablo Picasso
One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude.” ~ Gary Mark Gilmore
“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.” ~ Laurence Sterne
“Solitude is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it.” ~ Deepak Chopra
“The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.” ~ Aldous Huxley
“Solitude is the soil in which genius is planted, creativity grows, and legends bloom; faith in oneself is the rain that cultivates a hero to endure the storm, and bare the genesis of a new world, a new forest.” – Mike Norton
"Solitude is a silent storm that breaks down all our dead branches; yet it sends our living roots deeper into the living heart of the living earth."
- Kahlil Gibran
"St. John of the Cross points out that the divine music can best be heard in solitude and silence. The sonorous music is not a physical sound that vibrates the eardrum but something transcending the senses. Physical solitude and silence remove the distracting noises that prevent us from hearing on deeper levels." - Charles Cummings.
“Solitude is like punctuation. A paragraph without periods and commas would be exhausting to read.” – Arnie Kozak
Poem/Prose - Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather
It is sometimes said that each of us is ultimately alone. This idea is compelling not because of birth and death, but because so often our moments alone seem more true, more real. I need solitude like I need food and rest, and like eating and resting, solitude is most healing when it fits the rhythm of my needs. A rigidly scheduled aloneness does not nourish me. Solitude is perhaps a misnomer. To me, being alone means togetherness - the re-coming-togetherness of myself and nature, of myself and being, the reuniting of myself with all other selves. Solitude especially means putting the parts of my mind back together, unifying the pieces of my mind back together, unifying the pieces of myself scattered by anger and fear, until I can once again see that the little things are little and the big things are big."
Story
"The Christian solitary does not seek solitude merely as an atmosphere or as a setting for a special and exalted spirituality. Nor does he seek solitude as a favorable means for obtaining something he wants — contemplation. He seeks solitude as an expression of his total gift of himself to God," writes Trappist monk Thomas Merton in this reprint of his 1956 spiritual classic.
The author states that solitude is "not just a recipe for hermits" but a means to keeping society together. Individuals need a retreat from the exigencies and pressures of work in order to dialogue with God. Merton outlines some aspects of the spiritual life that set the stage for solitude: gratitude, keeping awake, practicing humility, listening, and unifying our lives. He sees silence as "the mother of truth" and as a divine milieu. He calls the Psalms "the true garden of the solitary." By surrendering ourselves to God, we nurture our love for others while we are apart from them. This is "the true fruit and the true purpose of Christian solitude."
The world of men has forgotten the joys of silence, the peace of solitude, which is necessary, to some extent, for the fullness of human living. Man cannot be happy for long unless he is in contact with the springs of spiritual life which are hidden in the depths of his own soul. If man is exiled constantly from his own home, locked out of his spiritual solitude, he ceases to be a true person.
It is in deep solitude and silence that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brother and sister.
Not all of us are called to be hermits, but all of us need enough silence and solitude in our lives to enable the deeper voice of our own self to be heard at least occasionally.
Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it.
Story
Faced with a rare opportunity to experiment with solitude, Doris Grumbach decided to live in her coastal Maine home without speaking to anyone for fifty days. The result is a beautiful meditation about what it means to write, to be alone, and to come to terms with mortality.
“I had told people of my intention to be alone for a time. At once I realized they looked upon this declaration as a rejection of them and their company. I felt apologetic, even ashamed, that I would have wanted such a curious thing as solitude, and then sorry that I had made a point of announcing my desire for it. … To the spouse, or the long-time companion, or the family, and to the social circle, as it is called, the decision to be alone for any length of time is dangerous, threatening, a sign of rejection. … Having never felt the need to be alone themselves, having always lived happily in relationships, they looked upon my need as eccentric, even somewhat mad. But more than that, they saw it as fraudulent, an excuse to be rid of them rather than a desperate need to explore myself.” ~ Doris Grumbach, ‘Fifty Days of Solitude’
Solitude Precedes Spiritually Significant Events
In Scripture, solitude frequently precedes a spiritually significant event. Jacob is alone before the wrestling match, his "magnificent defeat" that changed his life forever. Moses is alone before encountering the burning bush and the God who changed his life forever. Elijah retreated to a cave in which silence envelops him and God's still, small voice speaks to him. Jesus is frequently alone to pray, including on the night before calling his disciples. He is alone with Peter, James, and John when he is blindingly transfigured before their eyes. Jesus is alone in Gethsemane when he agonizes over his Father's calling to be crucified, to drink a cup he does not want to drink. He then drinks it to the dregs.
Jesus practiced solitude
It is this example set by Jesus, and his counsel in Matt. 6 to pray alone ("in secret"), that has motivated his followers to imitate him by seeking the discipline of solitude. If even Jesus periodically needed solitude to in order to reboot, who are we to think we can ignore this classic discipline?
Science of Mind Reading
Sacred Text
But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray. Luke 5:15-16
And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. Mark 6:31
The Rewards
One is not alone in solitude Richard Foster observes the paradox of solitude: The Christian who seeks solitude wants aloneness from other human beings, but is aware that in solitude she is not alone. God is there, filling her with unmediated presence and love. "Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment." And one needn't travel to a retreat center to find it. Any site where one can be out of contact with others and silent is a place of solitude. A walk in the woods or along a deserted shore will serve. So will a cup of coffee before anyone else is up. Or a time alone in the back yard before bed, drinking in the darkness and the stars. Solitude is a time for prayer that centers on Jesus Christ, the one who so often sought solitude; it's a time to gather his passion, gentleness, and love. With these gifts the Christian emerges from solitude. He had entered solitude in hope of recovering his spiritual health.
BODY MEDITATION
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MOVEMENT PRAYER 3
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BUDDHIST REFLECTION
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Rumination
If you love someone, you are always joined with them--in joy, in absence, in solitude, in strife.
Rumi
Benediction
End of Pride Month we started and will close with a benediction
Loving God, in your wisdom, you created a world rich with diversity. We give thanks for the gifts of sexual orientation and gender identity. We celebrate with our queer, transgender, bisexual, lesbian, and gay siblings who choose to come out, and honour those who do not. We say “yes” to the diversity among us—within ourselves, our families, our neighbours, and our communities. We claim that diversity as we come before you and as we go out into the world. At times, we turn away from this diversity, fearful of its transformative power. We reject that which is different, force it to be silent, or pretend that it does not exist. We participate in systems that privilege sameness and uproot difference. Give us the courage to live boldly into the mystery of diversity, the strength to persevere in the face of adversity, and the power to love in ways that go beyond understanding. Help us create a world where all queer, transgender, bisexual, lesbian, and gay people can flourish.
And so it is
http://religiousinstitute.org/resources/national-coming-out-day-worship-resources/
Song: Filled Up - Tasha Layton